It is not ‘What’ you say - It is ‘How’ you say it.

Rather than arguing whether it is 7% or 10%, depending on the graph you are looking at, the point is this:

The actual words we say have very little to do with the way our communication lands!

So often I see people run into trouble, heck I have myself, by focussing on just getting the words across, instead of looking at the way we communicate as a bigger picture with multiple, equally important factors. If you think of an example of when you were on the receiving end of a conversation and the person was talking but you were reacting internally because the body language, facial expressions, tone or all three were not lining up with what they were saying.

When looking at body language in this context it is important to look at it from an ‘element’ of communication perspective, we don’t need to dive deep into the study of body language, or become suddenly overly self conscious. I am talking about an increased awareness of our own body language and how it may be helping or hindering our ability to communicate well with those around us.

When you get your message across well the first time, with little room for mis-interpretation, offence or negative reaction, work life is just easier, some of the positive ripple effects are:

• More productivity
• Better working relationships
• Better work environment
• Less time spent on ‘cleaning up or correcting’ conversations that didn’t go well

Other factors that fall into the bigger bits of the pie are:

• Facial expressions
• Voice pace and tone
• Habits that distract the listener
• Mindset and intentions - unconscious bias or assumptions
• Poor listening skills